Five months to the day plus one, I was invited for a return visit to the fizzy pop factory on Saturday. There have been some changes!
Professor Burp, the factory’s previous owner, has gone. Nobody will talk about him - it’s as if he never existed. I wonder if it was something to do with the scandal involving him riding a bike through the factory with no clothes on.
The manufacturing process has also been modified. You wouldn’t have thought making fizzy pop had many similarities to making soap, but you’d be wrong. The factory is now exclusively licenced to produce Imperial Leather products.
Entering the station for our boat tour, I immediately noticed a strange smell. It’s a weird combination of soap and fruit: a mixture of old and new.
The station posters have been changed and an attempt to make it look underwater has been made. I said an attempt. I didn’t say it was successful. In fact, it just makes the previously colourful room look dull.
Our boat tour itself was a massive disappointment. Gone is the innuendo and copious quantity of puns. Gone too is a lot of the old scenery. That which has been kept really doesn’t make sense. Cows make milkshake, not bubbles. Ducks may ride rollercoasters, but they do not run on rollercoaster track themselves.Bubbles are everywhere (although most of them look like scoops of ice cream). Ducks make their mark too - not carefully handcrafted ducks either. Oh no, these are off the shelf. As if to prove it, you can buy them in the shop at the end of your tour.
Most of the old music has been retained but has had random duck quacks added. Unfortuanately it hasn’t been edited properly resulting in jumps and bits of silence, most notably in the former fairground scene.
The life really has been sucked out of the factory. The place is now so sterile it could easily be a hospital. Looking for jokes? That train (boat) don’t stop here anymore.
One thing that hasn’t been changed too much is the classic fountain finale, although Professor Burp has been replaced by three men sitting in a bath tub. In the interests of the family audience, I won’t discuss that any further.
Elsewhere in Transylvania, the Vampire station’s restoration to its former glory continues. This year, the station lighting has been returned to green from the funky disco colours of last year.
A new squirrel monkey enclosure is being constructed. If things go to plan then guests will be able to walk into this and experience the monkeys up close. If things don’t go to plan, guests will be able to visit the medical centre with blood gushing from their monkey-bite-ridden-fingers.
The five year plan is still to open up the field at the back of the zoo and turn it into a safari trail. Staff are hoping to reintroduce some of the larger animals into this space, so it may not be long before the rhinos return.In “celebration” of the new Bubbleworks, the park was going bubble-crazy. The magical bubbleman was creating huge bubbles over the Dragons Fury queueline mid-afternoon and there was a foam party for under-12s on the lawn in front of the Burnt Stub.
Bubbleworks aside, the start of the season at Chessington is still a disappointment. A lot of money is being invested in the zoo (�80,000 was spent on a single enclosure for example), but there’s not much evidence of spending elsewhere. This time last year the park looked fantastic. This year, it looks like it’s barely survived a huge winter storm. Does anybody have any spare paintbrushes to help them out?
Wait a minute - is this where the money’s going? It’s not where the monkey’s going and that’s for sure.Wahey! A whole Bubbleworks report and no duck puns to quack you up!
Last night, Chessington put on a special event after the park closed for the season to allow Bubbleworks fans one last ride before the ducks invade next year. Photos from the evening are here.
It was supposed to encompass an hour and a half exclusive ride time but, since only 50 people turned up for the start, it lasted just less than an hour.
Chessington hadn’t put on much of a show - the only perk was a free ride photo mousemat - so we had to create the party atmosphere ourselves. Some of us went further than others: our boat ended up singing the theme tune whilst floating around waving goodbye to Professor Burp, the Hiccups, the Cream Soda cow and all the other characters (I think I may have been getting overly emotional when I tried to say goodbye to the red laser powering the sensor at the top of the drop though).
Chatting to a couple of the staff afterwards, it seems the Imperial Leather re-theme/sponsorship deal might not be too bad:
- The layout will be identical to now
- The Hiccups are being replaced by an egg, a half-egg-half-chicken and a chicken (??)
- Supposedly the only changes to the Fountain Finale will be to the drop, which will become a giant plug hole
- Minor changes to the fairground scene include ducks riding the cola coaster
- The station will be rethemed as an underwater submarine
- The boats will become red and white (similar to The Flume but without gold taps), with the possibility of a gold rail around the side. They’ve decided against having little model ducks sitting on the edge of the boats quacking throughout the ride.
Exactly how much changes, we’ll find out next year. It’s just a pity poor old Professor Burp has been thrown out, although I hear he may be in for a nice retirement package (might be an idea to keep an eye out on eBay).
Professor Burp’s Bubbleworks
1990 - 2005