The Missing Monkey and the Virile Sealion
Chessington Zoo has made the news twice so far this week, with both a happy and a sad story:
First up, Spongebob the Squirrel monkey has been “stolen”. Apparently keepers noticed two damaged fences and found the other nine monkeys either in or near their enclosure. Spongebob, however, was nowhere to be seen.
Various news outlets are claiming he was stolen, although I’m not sure how they reach that conclusion from the evidence available. What’s to say a couple of Chessington’s “guests” didn’t trash the fence and Spongebob happened to go walkabout a little while later? Maybe he went off to M&S to buy some more pants - apparently they are the only major retailer who offer the equal sided orthogonal variety.
In happier news, Boris has been at it again, fathering two more pups and ensuring he holds on to his crown. Oh, so many possibilities for alliteration: Bonking Boris, Sexiest Sealion … and some less savoury offerings too.
Sh… nah.